A really good friend of mine asked me how we are doing. I gave a quick answer, “Day by day”.
He picked up on this immediately saying that is really the only way.
And he is right. It is far too easy to start imagining things.
We have to look at things from an immediate point of view, based on what we know.
This reminds me of a sentence, I think by Pope John Paul II that stated something like: “learn from the past, live today, and plan for the future”.
If you apply each one of these phrases correctly, you can at least know where you are and have an idea of where you are going. (Did you notice that “live today” doesn’t have a preposition - from or for – I think that makes it the most important of the three).
Here are a few things I have found out lately:
1. Emotional pain can become physical pain. For the first week, my wife developed a pain on her breasts and we are both sure this is a mother’s pain. Our friend of ours whose two year old is very ill and constantly undergoing injections is also in pain each time her child goes through another treatment – especially when they can’t find a vein.
2. Crying is good. I think the last time I cried was when I was about twelve. I have bottled up an enormous amount of pain, and justified it by saying to myself that pain only goes down to a certain level and afterward you only feel numb. That is bad, the pressure builds up, and something has to give way. I have now learnt how to cry again, in solitude and only rarely.
3. Friends and loved ones are what matters. We have to appreciate them always and help them out.
4. You mustn’t judge others. You can, and at times, should be critical of their actions, but not of the person.
5. Praying together as a family generates unity.
6. Men and women are different, but as the French say, “Vive la difference!” When we add to each other and not subtract from each other, life takes on a new meaning. Actually I have known this for the last twenty years, but it is good to say it again.
7. Communication. Women are better at this and especially relating to feelings and emotions. We have to learn how and when to communicate and also when to listen with our ears and with our heart. The right word is probably “empathy”.
8. Love has to be creative. It is not enough to say it, we have to show it, constantly and in as many ways as we can.
9. Humor. Humor is fun. Always have it on hand. Work at it. (Work at your timing while you’re at it).
In simpler terms, be aware of what you do, where you are, who you are with, and
take each day at a time.