Magi Of The East

The biblical Three Wise Kings are celebrated on the 6th January. The Gospel of Mathew tells us that they found the baby Jesus by following a star. Along the way they came across King Herod, who tried to trick them into telling him where this new king was.

They came bearing gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh. Warned in a dream about Herod's intentions, they left following a different route. Herod followed this up with the massacre of young children of Bethlehem.

Not much more is known about them, though popular myth gives them the names of Balthazar, Melchior and Caspar.

So on Tuesday we decided to begin our own family tradition (based lightly on the Mexican one) of celebrating the Magi from the East.

We prepared a cheese fondue, and my wife made a ring shaped loaf which after slicing became an excellent piece for scooping up the cheese.

Before eating we shared a brief prayer and talked about the Magi, not only about the biblical reference, but also about their possible journey.

We all decided this would become a yearly tradition as we had great fun (after the religious side of things it became a moment of sharing, joking, laughing and overall healthy fun).

We all had a glass of wine (a very small sip for the two youngest) and fed to our heart's content.

This is something to be repeated as it also provided an interesting alternative to the typical New Year Resolutions.

As we invented different adventures for the Magi, we realized that though the religious view has always stressed that they came to adore the Messiah, to get there they had to have had a vision and the strength of mind and dedication to follow that star.

So we shared our vision for the coming year - one particular point each. Travel, spending more time together, work and school related, and so on.

In all a moment of great joy. And a great lesson for all, but especially the children (5).

The lesson: the importance of having a vision (a goal) and the willingness to go for it.

Let's see what happens next year.

Calm, Cool and Collected

Yesterday morning at around 10.45 a.m., as I was working in my office (at home) I noticed some noises in the house. When I am working or reading I disconnect from everything (this drives my wife crazy, by the way).

Anyway as I started to get up from my desk a woman appeared, saw me and walked back out. I started to follow her to find out what was going on - frankly I was just curious. As I walked out I was confronted with this woman and two young men, with balaclavas covering their faces and waving a gun in my face. This guy was extremely nervous and that gun was shaking all over.

I guess subconsciously I had realized that the noises I was hearing were out of the ordinary - so I was able to take in the situation very quickly; wasn't shocked or scared. My mind did go into overdrive immediately.

I told them to relax, and repeated this two or three times. We walked back into the office. I was told to lie face down, which I did, with my hands in front. I told them I was taking my glasses off, which I did, placing them in front of me. The rest went rather quickly - they tied my hands behind my back, and my feet.

These guys were extremely nervous, and I remembered hearing or reading somewhere that amateur thieves are much more dangerous as they can get very violent due to fear and inexperience.

So at different intervals, not to close together, I told them to relax and take what they want.

The woman seemed to be in charge - she was the only one who spoke, the others whispered. (At this point, due to the noises and whispered conferences they were having I realized there were between five and six thieves).

She kept on asking where the jewels and money were and threatening that they had a gun.

By this time they had covered me with a blanket. I told them that we don't have any cash or jewels - she kept on threatening, but eventually began to believe me.

I then asked them not to step on my glasses or break them - and she answered with less nervousness, that they wouldn't. The atmosphere which had been heavily charged with fear and adrenalin started to calm down. I repeated my request and someone lifted the part of the blanket covering my head and placed my glasses next to me.

She still insisted on the whereabouts of the money and jewels, but less forcefully until she accepted there wasn't any around.

All this time the others were ransacking the office, and the house in general. Drawers were being ripped out and contents thrown all over the place - they were making a right mess in their quest for treasures (with little luck I might add).

I asked them (politely but firmly) not to take my ID or license as it was of no use to them ...

She answered, quite nicely actually, that they wouldn't. In this last exchange she started (I am sure she didn't realize this) to refer to me as "sir".

I repeated my request and the blanket was again lifted and my wallet placed next to me.

They continued going over the house for about ten minutes. Very occasional whispers came through to me and I overheard a couple of phone calls - in the first one of the men just said "In a few minutes", and the second something like "Nearly ready".

I heard them walking downstairs and a male voice asking loudly for a rubbish bag. Then silence until I heard the front door being closed softly.

I strained my wrists apart and managed to loosen the cord round my right wrist. I slipped my hand out and it was free. I wobbled and jumped around to the telephone and called the police.

I finished untieing myself and quickly looked around. I then went down stairs.

On Thursdays a lady comes to our place to help with the cleaning, and she had arrived earlier on with a friend. I found them also tied, face down and covered with towels. I told them that it was all over and nobody was hurt. They were quite understandably shaking and crying. I untied and tried to calm them down.

By then I heard the police giving a short squirt of their siren and opened the front door.

In all I guess around fifteen minutes elapsed between the moment the thieves appeared (it looks as if they climbed over our neighbor's fence), tied the girls, and left.

The girls were treated much worse than I was. They were thrown to the ground, one of them was kicked in the ribs. They were stepped on while being tied and threatened much more than I was.

Anyway, the rest isn't important. They didn't take very much. My kids' CPU, my monitor, an ipod, a bit of cash the two ladies had with them.

They left me my ID's and credit cards.

The point of sharing all this is we never know what may happen, how we will react or the consequences of our actions.

Always keep calm, no material thing is worth anyone's life or health. If anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, cooperate and keep calm. Don't waste time or energy in being scared, getting angry or panicking (the girls did and they had a much harder time). Think and try to manage the situation.

I think I was able to do this and ended up with a bit of control - these guys were really nervous and dangerous, but I was lucky enough to diffuse this - and, hey, to them I am "Sir"

Don't You Hate People Who ...

Don´t you hate people who ...

• Are always late and just shrug it off. This is not just bad manners, as far as I am concerned they are not only rude they are stealing my time.

• Just stare at others. Rude and aggressive. Why don't they do something more productive?

• Know everything. And then interrupt to show the world and their aunt how brilliant they are. If they only knew!

• Sneeze loudly in a crowded place and look around as if waiting for applause.

• Then they bring out a used and dirty handkerchief. Blah! (Sigh of disgust).

• Have bad breath and lean into you as they talk.

• Eat with their mouths open and then start yabbering away, spluttering the stuff all over the place.

• Always jump in with the punch line of somebody else's jokes.

• And those who are just loud, decibels above everybody else.

Well I just had that sort of a weekend, a new acquaintance that managed all the above. I guess I won't accept his invitation next week.

Tomorrow Never Comes

At regular intervals I sit back, comfortably, and try to look at my life objectively; where I am going, what I expect and where I am at.

I have often wondered if this habit is just my own or whether it is a "baby boomer" trait. Or simply middle age?

Whatever the case may be I did this last night. I realize that many illusions have disappeared but they have been replaced by new, more tempered ones.

I keep reminding myself that it is not what you do, it is how you do it and with whom.

And the main lesson I gave myself yesterday is a gentle reminder to live a day at a time. To live fully, as tomorrow will take care of itself when tomorrow becomes today.

Future Perfect

Many years ago I actually studied Latin at school. Quite honestly I hated it. I barely remember "amo, amas, amat..." (I love, you love, he loves..). I always felt it was a contradiction in terms - to begin with love while learning a dead language. For a time I thought it was Tiddles'(Latin master) sense of humor. I was quite deflated when I realized it was standard practice.

One thing that did stay with me was the tenses. I can't remember if you decline or conjugate verbs. Be that as it may, I had to learn the tenses. Apart from the present, the past and the future, you have the active and the passive voice.

But my favorite, without really knowing how to apply it, is:

The Future Perfect

What a marvelous concept. A perfect future.

For the immediate future, this coming week includes:

- Our 20th wedding anniversary, and Amore's birthday on the same day. I have always insisted I am her present so she shouldn't expect much more. Somehow she doesn't agree. I wonder why. So instead we will have a private party.

Longer term that is our ideal. A Perfect Future.

If our past is anything to go by, and it is, we are living this perfect future. A brief view must include the fact we met one Thursday evening, decided to get married a week later and married within the month. I was living in England at the time so for the span of two weeks we exchanged letters daily, until she caught up with me in London.

For some time after our marriage the postman still brought our love letters. And this is a habit we have kept, more or less. Come to think of it I haven't written to her for a while. (Something else for my to do list).

I still remember my first letter to her, written on the plane from Quito to London. I explained that I was absolutely sure of what I was doing, but if she had second thoughts, she had every right to do so. About ten days later in London I received a letter from her where she stated the same thing.

Back to the first letter I wrote her.

I went on to say that I would do my utmost so that our love would never become ordinary, a habit. I could see us walking had in hand, with occasional eye exchanges that were full of meaning, as we talked without saying a word. This would take place sometime, when I had less hair, was rounder and perhaps using a walking stick. She would also be older, with gray hair and most importantly be by my side.

I would pass my fingers over her face, hesitating slightly over the wrinkles round her eyes as I admired and loved them. These were the well earned scars of a full life. Each one reflecting a life lived and loved to the full.

This Perfect Future is also born out of the Future Past. And the Perfect Present is the one where it all comes to be.

It's Only Human

We are only human, and that is a cliche we use to justify our faults and shortcomings.

It is also a sentence that exemplifies our true potential.

We are born with the ability to love.
We have the need of being loved.
We have the wish to grow and find the reason for it all.
We search for God.
We think (most of us anyway), we feel, we communicate, we create, we wonder, we fear, we laugh, we play, we cry.

All these and many more are ours.

What and how we use them is our decision.
When is the action.
Why is the question.

And the answer ...

A loving God.

I Dreamt it was My Funeral

I dreamt it was my funeral. I hid in the church and watched.

There was a sadness in the air. Tears in many eyes and a blankness in others.

I was also saddened as I tried to guess the memories I left behind.

To my wife.
To my children.To my friends and relatives.
To my colleagues.
To my town and country.
To society.

And then I thought,
What if?
What if, this and that, with all I came in contact?
What if to each their own gift?
What if I had lived giving more of myself?
What if I had fought the battles that should have been fought?
What if I had shared my gifts and talents with others?

Then perhaps this day and in this church, my parting gift to those in sadness, to those with tears and to those in blankness, would have been a bit of joy, of light, of wisdom, of selflessness, of love.

As I stood there, hiding, I realized regrets are the saddest memory one could have. A waste of time, of meaning, of life.

Such a waste ... and as with all waste, it is lost amid our mindlessness and can never be recovered.

I woke up, and here I am.

A Place Called Home

Do you know that place called home?

- Where nobility and honesty walk hand in hand
- Where harmony of life joins in ever flowing wonder
- Where loved ones are friends and friends are always true
- Where the light of God shines out, bright and true
- Where knights of old join hands and pray, and fight against injustice
- Where all in bravery and joy have a vision of peace, and the will to act

It is a secret place in our hearts, hidden behind misguided doors and dungeons of fear

Do you know this place?

- Where men and women are bonded in eternal love
- Where you and I, are We
- Where all are strong in bonds of love
- Where the light of day outshines the night
- Where suffering and hardship are taken lightly
- Where the strength within overcomes all fear
- Where the beauty of it all is our just reward

It is a secret place in our hearts, and souls, that expands in joy whenever it is found.

It is God's gift to all.

Healing Man

I went to the doctor. For most of my life I have suffered from headaches. Now I am an expert on these.

There are the subtle ones that begin at the back of my head and slowly increase upwards and in intensity. The ones that go from my right eye heading inwards. And the one that gives notice when my hand begins to get numb and then bursts out into an almighty whopper.

Anyway, he is Cuban and has lived here a short while. He also studied in Russia and in China.

He is a simple man who has a mission and works toward it.

He is not a the typical Western doctor, with all the western science backed by chemical assistance.

He is, above all a healer and he looks at those he will help as a whole, as a complete person.

Everything is interconnected, and his special talent is finding where the connections are broken or weakened.

We had never spoken and met only there and then.

Xocé (pronounced Jose) asked me to lie down and put my arms above my head. He held my wrists and pulled two or three times lightly.

Above my right thigh, on the side of my belly I have emotional scars he says. They were caused by two men, my father and my brother.

I turned and looked at him in the eye. My father, the man I have most admired and loved, died when I was fourteen; my brother, my emotional twin, died when I was sixteen.

The session lasted an hour and there were many other thing that I accepted without question. I have a very developed third eye. When I asked him how to develop it further, he just repeated it is developed - I just have to practice, meditating.

He has a gift and he uses it to help those who are willing to be helped.

Xocé has given me a list of natural herbs and medicines, as well as a diet. We are what we eat.

My body will recover its natural harmony that has shifted its balance due to emotional battles, by guilt, by hurt, by life.

My spiritual and mental balance will also get into line.

Xocé, a healing man. You have a lovely name and you are a beautiful person.

It Really Is Day by Day

A really good friend of mine asked me how we are doing. I gave a quick answer, “Day by day”.

He picked up on this immediately saying that is really the only way.

And he is right. It is far too easy to start imagining things.

We have to look at things from an immediate point of view, based on what we know.

This reminds me of a sentence, I think by Pope John Paul II that stated something like: “learn from the past, live today, and plan for the future”.

If you apply each one of these phrases correctly, you can at least know where you are and have an idea of where you are going. (Did you notice that “live today” doesn’t have a preposition - from or for – I think that makes it the most important of the three).

Here are a few things I have found out lately:

1. Emotional pain can become physical pain. For the first week, my wife developed a pain on her breasts and we are both sure this is a mother’s pain. Our friend of ours whose two year old is very ill and constantly undergoing injections is also in pain each time her child goes through another treatment – especially when they can’t find a vein.
2. Crying is good. I think the last time I cried was when I was about twelve. I have bottled up an enormous amount of pain, and justified it by saying to myself that pain only goes down to a certain level and afterward you only feel numb. That is bad, the pressure builds up, and something has to give way. I have now learnt how to cry again, in solitude and only rarely.
3. Friends and loved ones are what matters. We have to appreciate them always and help them out.
4. You mustn’t judge others. You can, and at times, should be critical of their actions, but not of the person.
5. Praying together as a family generates unity.
6. Men and women are different, but as the French say, “Vive la difference!” When we add to each other and not subtract from each other, life takes on a new meaning. Actually I have known this for the last twenty years, but it is good to say it again.
7. Communication. Women are better at this and especially relating to feelings and emotions. We have to learn how and when to communicate and also when to listen with our ears and with our heart. The right word is probably “empathy”.
8. Love has to be creative. It is not enough to say it, we have to show it, constantly and in as many ways as we can.
9. Humor. Humor is fun. Always have it on hand. Work at it. (Work at your timing while you’re at it).

In simpler terms, be aware of what you do, where you are, who you are with, and

...

take each day at a time.