Girls Can Be Annoying

Following with the "Annoying Habits" theme of my last two posts, it wouldn't be fair not to mention something about girls.

And these do come from the heart.

First and foremost, shopping is not fun. It is not a sport, it is not a game and at the end of the day you end up poorer. As far as I am concerned unless it is books, music or an interesting gadget, you don´t need to share it with me. In fact when it is books and so on, I still prefer to do it on my own.

When I come up to a baby, I also want to make cooey noises. But please don`t make baby voices when there are no babies around. You sound infuriatingly empty headed, and as if you lost your marbles. And definitely don`t do it in front of your husband's boss. It doesn't look good.

Girls who start pouting and slowly build up into a hiccoughing, I am out of breath, type of crying.

Nagging and bossy women. This is only good in jokes. When St. Peter told the men lining up in front of the pearly gates that only those whose wives didn't boss them around should step forward, only one man did. St. Peter congratulated him and then asked him how he did it. This man explained that his wife on the other line told him to step forward. No nagging and bossy women, please.

Women who paint their nails all day long, chew gum and talk on the phone while clients are waiting.

Women who say honey all the time. It sounds better coming from Winnie the Pooh.

Boys Will Be Boys

OR ...

Toilet Seats and Loud Noises.

I am sure it is a male thing. We have three boys ranging in age from 9 to 19, and all have these habits (habits my wife has convinced me are annoying).

From the moment they learned how to pee, they leave the toilet seat up. (Why do women leave the toilet seat down?)

They stop listening very quickly, specially when you begin to repeat yourself.

They enjoy their bodily noises, and are quite fluent. It seems to be a question of practice and natural ability.

They love lavatory humor.

They fall asleep with a hand comfortably between their legs.

As they grow older they will probably graduate into the more annoying male habits, but as I told my wife, girls also have their fair share.

Family Meal Time

Many of us have heard over the years that one of the most important family times is meal time.

I couldn't agree more.

The problem is that in this day and age it is getting more and more difficult to manage the time part of this equation.

For a family of seven, 5 kids plus mom and pop, everyone has different engagements and different priorities. We span the age spectrum going from 9 to 50.

Breakfast is always hectic as everyone starts the day with a large disparity of energy, time awareness and occasional peskiness. It is always a rushed affair, with family members appearing and disappearing at different moments.

Lunch is just about impossible with the different school and work schedules. I never make it as my work is over 45 minutes away, and the rest glide in at intervals.

We do manage a few dinners together every month, but the quality family time is weak.

How to get round this.

We (as in all of us) have come up with a few alternatives that are fun and contribute to family bonding.

• Once a week we have a family night. One of us acts as master of ceremonies, which means he or she can choose the menu, the conversation subjects as well as the after dinner activities. Usually a movie. We all get a chance to be in charge once every seven weeks and as we all have different favorite foods we learn to accept other family member's choices - which is very important in such a rowdy home.

• Once a month we "the parents" take one of the children out for his or her night out. A meal at a restaurant, followed by skating, bowling or a movie. We therefore also manage to make that one child feel extra special.

• Either Saturday or Sunday morning we have an extra special brunch. This is a new development which everyone wants to keep. Everybody, including the dogs and the cat (by the way we have a new white frog in the home), pitches in with cooking, setting the table, talking, laughing, dancing and playing. We are not doing so well yet with the cleaning up, but I am optimistic.

In short, family time, together time and specific time is quality time put to very good use.

The Travelling Loo

My 11 year old girl was quite excited this morning as she told us her dream. (Though she kept getting confused and referred to it as the movie).

She had gone up to her cousin Ben (14) and proposed they build a club house. He refused as he already has his own.

So she next found her self in the toilet and sat down on the "loo". She flushed and with a sinking feeling found her self (still sitting there by the way) whooshing downwards until she landed in an almighty cave.

The colors were amazing, as were the sounds of dripping water and gorgeous smells. (Better than the loo she insisted).

Ben was there ready to great her as this was his club house. They walked towards a chamber, all furnished and carpeted when she saw her elder brother and Father Rodney. Her brother rushed to her to give her a great big hug and as he did ... she woke up with the fiend hound licking her face.

Anyway she was so happy and excited that her younger brother kept on telling her to finish the story.

So now I know she dreams in Technicolor, with stereo sounds and loads of smells.

An Educated Young Lady

I was leaving work when the phone rang. As I answered a very young voice asked to speak with Daddy.

Although I am on close terms with a few young voices wanting to talk to this Daddy, this wasn't one of mine.

So after exchanging a few sentences I understood it was Michael our friend, she was asking for.

"Your dad has left and is on his way home right now, so you'll see him shortly."

"I am not at home", she went on "You see my mother had an operation on her ... well I don't really know, except that she'll give me a talking to if I tell anyone she did something to her breasts".

"Well thank you and bye-bye".

And that my friends, was Cynthia, Mike's well brought up 5 year old little girl.